


No Answers

by completelyhopeless



Series: Darcy and the Hood [27]
Category: DCU, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Comment Fic, Community: comment_fic, Crack, F/M, Gen, Slight Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-02
Updated: 2015-02-02
Packaged: 2018-03-10 03:35:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3275195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/completelyhopeless/pseuds/completelyhopeless
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Darcy's first days as P.R. representative for the Avengers do not go well. Her usual charm fails her, and she gets a lot of "not answering that."</p>
<p>Then it's her turn.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No Answers

**Author's Note:**

  * For [storiesfortravellers](https://archiveofourown.org/users/storiesfortravellers/gifts).



> For the prompt: _[Any, any, "Yeah, I don't have to answer that."](http://comment-fic.livejournal.com/549186.html?thread=77644610#t77644610)_
> 
> I wanted to use the prompt first time I saw it, but it was later that I realized it was meant for the Darcy/Jason story where he meets the Avengers.
> 
> I suppose there's a reason I put it off for this long. It did not turn out how I'd hoped.

* * *

“So what does this do?”

“Don't touch it,” Stark said, and Darcy sighed, not for the first time since her “orientation” started. She had thought taking the job Pepper offered her with the Avengers was a good idea. Thor was around sometimes, so Jane would be there, and Darcy liked hanging around with Jane. Plus it was a good use of her poli sci degree, one that she wasn't sure she could use anymore.

She wasn't exactly going to be running for office while she was living with a guy known as Red Hood. She'd never get elected, and she'd make them both targets.

“You didn't say what it does.”

“Yeah, well, I don't have to answer,” Stark told her, and she glared at his back as he led her past another device. She'd hated Jane and Erik's long-winded explanations of science stuff that went over her head, but at least they kept her in the loop. Stark wasn't even trying. “Just don't touch any of this.”

“You want to fill me in on _why_ I'm not supposed to touch it?”

“No.”

* * *

Dr. Banner was more polite about it, strangely, since she knew he was the Hulk.

He let her look around his lab, answered a lot of questions, almost seemed to have the patience of a saint, but when she asked him what it was like being the Hulk, he just smiled kind of sadly.

“If you don't mind, I'll choose not to answer that.”

* * *

“So,” Darcy said, perched on the counter and trying to decide who had more muscles—Jason, Dick, or Clint. Then there was Thor, and he was a whole different matter, but she had decided to limit the idea to those that were strictly human.

That meant she'd have to choose between Dick and Clint because Jason insisted he was a zombie, but she was having a hard time. She'd have to get him in the same room to compare them.

“How'd you learn to shoot?”

“I thought they gave you a bio on all of us. You know, since you're now our P.R. person.”

She nodded. She'd gotten the information packets. She'd read them. Jason had _laughed_ at them. “I'm not talking about the official releases. I'm not just going to parrot back what I'm told. I want to know the real thing—the real _people.”_

“We're not people,” Clint said, and she took that as his version of “I'm not going to answer that.”

* * *

Darcy had a feeling that Jason was going to hate her working here. All of these men, a lot of good muscles, and looking at Captain America, she found herself wishing she'd gotten this job when she was still single. Not that she didn't love the view, all the views, but Jason seemed to have ruined her for all other men.

He'd like that, she thought.

“So,” she said, looking up at him. “Are you still a virgin?”

Captain Rogers choked, blushed, and managed to stammer something about not answering as he walked away.

In retrospect, that _was_ the wrong question to ask, but she couldn't help the curiosity.

* * *

“So... you gonna do the honorable thing and marry her or are you just planning on making her your Earth mistress? Do you have someone back on Asgard?” Darcy asked, refusing to let the muscles distract her from the important part. “I bet you have someone back on Asgard.”

Thor coughed. “Excuse me. I believe I am needed elsewhere.”

* * *

“Are you proud of yourself?”

Darcy leaned back, looking over at Natasha. “Should I be? I mean, true, it's not everyone who flusters a god, but I'm five for five on getting Avengers to clam up on me, which doesn't say much for my future career as P.R. representative.”

“Pepper likes you.”

“Yeah, but she's the only one, right?”

Natasha smiled before she walked, and Darcy slapped her palm to her face. That was supposed to be a joke. Nice of Romanoff to _confirm_ it. Even if she hadn't actually answered with words.

* * *

“Look, we need a strategy,” Captain Rogers said, looking at the others. “We need a way of dealing with this threat.”

“You could kill him.”

“Excuse me?” Rogers asked. “That is not what we do. We're a team that goes up against threats that normal agencies can't handle. We don't just go up and _kill_ people.”

“You don't?”

Rogers coughed, looking at Barton and Romanoff. “Well, not all of us, anyway. Wait a minute. Who are you? How did you get in here?”

The guy in the red mask just shrugged. “Your security could use some work.”

Stark shook his head. “It's state of the art.”

“You have a point?” 

“I'll _make_ a point if you don't answer our questions,” Rogers said. “Who are you and what are you doing here?”

“Picking up my girlfriend.”

“Girlfriend?” Stark demanded. “Someone actually dates you wearing _that?”_

“I've seen your suit. You're the one that should be worried,” the man said. “Then again—there was Iron Patriot. That was definitely worse.”

“Agreed.”

Rogers looked at him. “Are you actually agreeing with someone who broke in to our secured facility and insulted you?”

Stark shrugged. “Can't argue with the Iron Patriot thing. It was like a heavy metal rip-off of you, Spangles.”

Rogers glared at him. “Stark—”

“You're here! I didn't think you were coming,” Darcy said, throwing herself at the man in the red mask. She actually jumped up into his arms. “Wasn't there a family emergency? Again?” 

“Handled. Wonder boy struck again. How's your work going?”

She grimaced. “Not as good as I thought it would be, but better now that you're here.”

“Darcy,” Rogers began. “Are you—that is your—how did you—you're not—what are you doing with that guy?”

“Well,” Darcy began, and then she shook her head. “On second thought, I don't think I'll answer that.”


End file.
